Doing the Best I Can Fatherhood in the Inner City

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Did I like this volume? It's hard for me to say. This star rating honors the difficult work of the authors, but it doesn't reflect the notion that this book includes scintillating writing or agreement with the subjects.

The authors spent years embedding themselves in poor communities in the Philadelphia and New Jersey surface area, talking to unmarried fathers to notice out what made them tick. They wanted to do away with the idea that poor single fathers are careless, oversexed villains.

What they institute were

Did I like this book? It'south difficult for me to say. This star rating honors the hard work of the authors, but it doesn't reflect the notion that this volume includes scintillating writing or understanding with the subjects.

The authors spent years embedding themselves in poor communities in the Philadelphia and New Bailiwick of jersey area, talking to unmarried fathers to find out what made them tick. They wanted to do abroad with the idea that poor unmarried fathers are careless, oversexed villains.

What they found were men who more or less fell into fatherhood, just past being careless in these brusk-term relationships. Once a baby is on the way, the men more often than not are happy about it, fifty-fifty to the indicate of trying to persuade their partners to keep the child rather than accept an abortion. A kid represents a new beginning for these men. And, instead of considering themselves the primary breadwinners and caretakers of these children, they refuse that notion for this new idea of "doing the best they tin" - which ways coin sometimes, emotional back up sometimes…just whatever they can spare.

The authors found male parent after male parent to make this point; so many that information technology was difficult to go along track of them at times. This was non a deep dive into one extended family, such as Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's brilliant "Random Family." But what it lacks in narrative cohesion it makes upwardly in careful detail, including the of import role that economic science play in the decision-making of these fathers.

I want to exist kinder in my heart to these men. If all that you have to offer your child is a buddy-buddy relationship, then yous want that relationship to be seen as something valuable. And I do believe these men genuinely love their children. But I can't ignore how this leaves EVERYTHING on the mother -- providing the money, the discipline, all the hard work that comes with raising a kid from birth to adulthood. The father in these relationships has a much easier role. And he gets to move on to some other woman and endeavour again. I nevertheless just don't fully sympathize why these men and women do non choose to put off child-rearing, merely for a little while. Merely possibly economics plays a role. People who have future prospects -- men and women -- don't desire to give those prospects up. But with no hint of a ameliorate futurity, why wait to accept children? Why care at all? And then you have generations of children growing upward with fathers who are "doing the best they can." And that's distressing.

...more

Aug 23, 2015 Michelle rated it it was amazing

An insightful highly important volume: "Doing The All-time I Can: Fatherhood in the Inner Urban center" examines poor urban fatherhood in the areas of depression income and impoverished neighborhoods of the Philadelphia, PA, and Camden, NJ areas. The volume is expertly researched and written by sociologist Kathryn Edin and author Timothy J. Nelson, who lived in the neighborhoods studied. Edin is known for her expertise in poverty studies and the co-author of "Promises I Can Go along" (2005) which examines the plight of po An insightful highly of import book: "Doing The All-time I Can: Fatherhood in the Inner City" examines poor urban fatherhood in the areas of low income and impoverished neighborhoods of the Philadelphia, PA, and Camden, NJ areas. The volume is expertly researched and written by sociologist Kathryn Edin and writer Timothy J. Nelson, who lived in the neighborhoods studied. Edin is known for her expertise in poverty studies and the co-author of "Promises I Can Keep" (2005) which examines the plight of poor single motherhood in the neighborhoods mentioned in a higher place.

The one matter that particularly stands out is the high value and importance poor families place on their children and family life. Many of these out-of-wedlock births were unintended, unplanned and the utilize of contraception was questionable at best. Moving up the economical ladder and attending higher and earning a higher standard of living wasn't ever an pick or consideration of these young impoverished parents. These begetter's were usually very happy when they found out their girlfriends were pregnant, and attempted to plant a stable relationship, caring for the mother and their kid, at least while the kid was smaller, the parents may or may not had planned to marry.
Edin pointed out that frequently fathers didn't have a father themselves, had limited resources, chore and income prospects, and may have had problems with alcohol and substance, and/or lack the maturity to remain faithful. Sometimes in that location was the possibility of incarceration due to illegal and criminal action. Other complex problems of these fathers may included multiple fertility- fathering children by different women. Many of these fathers had a tendency to support and parent children of the women they were with, fifty-fifty if they weren't the biological male parent.

The studies revealed that as the children grew, the realistic challenges of poor urban parenting put a tremendous strain on these fragile parenting relationships that may not take been that stable in the commencement place. By the time their children reached age 5, these parents were typically no longer together, and had moved on to other relationships. The reasons for unplanned fatherhood were many, just the one thing that stood out: fatherhood offered these men a new promise and possibility for them to testify themselves both on a social and cultural level, further defining their masculinity, and to do the right matter for their children, even if information technology was on a limited means or basis. In that location are pages of statistics and excellent references for farther report.

Kathryn Edin is a distinguished professor of sociology and Timothy J. Nelson is an lecturer in social policy and author. Both teach at the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University.

...more than

Jun 26, 2018 Lisa rated it it was astonishing

This companion book to Promises I Can Keep, which focused on inner-city single mothers, tells the story of inner-urban center Philadelphia fathers, black and white, and their relationships to their children. These men are unable, due to economic and cultural restrictions and their own poor choices, to fulfill the traditional part of breadwinner for their children, and then they "exercise the best they tin" on the providing front end while concentrating instead on having quality time and being a real father (every bit op This companion volume to Promises I Can Keep, which focused on inner-city unmarried mothers, tells the story of inner-city Philadelphia fathers, black and white, and their relationships to their children. These men are unable, due to economic and cultural restrictions and their own poor choices, to fulfill the traditional role of breadwinner for their children, then they "exercise the best they can" on the providing front while concentrating instead on having quality time and being a real father (equally opposed to "only a paycheck") for their children. That they sometimes aren't good at this role does not mean that their attempts do non accept value for the children and especially for the men--many of them experience strongly the absence of their own fathers and are trying to make upwards for that with their children. Tragically, at that place is a tendency in some of these men, when the fathering role does not work out with one kid, to plough their attention to some other child with a different mother. They also await their children'southward mothers to be able to provide financially even if they, the fathers, cannot assistance, while all the same achieving all that is expected of mothers in terms of nurturing and emotional support--a very tough gig for mothers that does not result in fiscal or family security for children. Like the companion study, this volume answers the question, "Why don't they just get married?" These impoverished (in almost every sense) adults accept not given up on marriage, but instead take such high expectations of marriage that they cannot come across them. And even so, the rewards of having children are and then great that they practise non see any reason to go without them, and they do not consider that they are doing the children any disservice by bringing them into this less-than-perfect situation. Thus the father-child relationship becomes paramount, while the children'due south mothers become about irrelevant and sometimes adversary to these fathers who are trying to do their best. These two books explain a lot about circumstances that take been the subject of inaccurate assumptions past more fortunate people. Perhaps Edin and colleagues could consider a written report of the children of these parents, looking back on their childhoods and the assumptions that their parents and guild make about them. ...more

Sep 18, 2020 Ben rated it liked information technology

110 low-income unwed fathers from a item neighborhood in Philadelphia (black + white)

bunch of observations / summary / etc:

fathers build relational uppercase of 'quality' time, which helps sustain the parent child relationship during times of doubt. It acts every bit insurance against difficult times, or if the parent might terminate up not able to see them for a while, and so the relationship will be able to proceed across the gap. Note quality when they can't have quantity.

**just in general, I'k s

110 low-income unwed fathers from a particular neighborhood in Philadelphia (black + white)

bunch of observations / summary / etc:

fathers build relational capital of 'quality' time, which helps sustain the parent child relationship during times of uncertainty. It acts equally insurance confronting hard times, or if the parent might cease upwardly not able to meet them for a while, then the relationship volition be able to go on beyond the gap. Note quality when they can't have quantity.

**just in general, I'm surprised at how much sociology books have made me way better at thinking near human relationships in economic terms, by naming diverse types of capital letter (relational majuscule, bodily capital, emotional uppercase, emotional labor...). Then giving a whole bunch of anecdotes that reinforce the economic term and testify how information technology affects people.

I plant very interesting the triplet of:
"Showing love is about making children stronger" (through increasing their resiliency, self-esteem)
"Communication is about keeping children safe"
"Quality time builds a store of relational capital...an insurance policy for an uncertain future"

Black fathers in poverty have a higher level of interest (number of visits) at all ages than white fathers.

Fatherhood exterior of marriage is gradually becoming more institutionalized amid men in terms of informal norms. The informal norms and civilization are stronger among blackness fathers "whose desriptions of the platonic father were more richly articulated and uniform than those of their white counterparts....Blackness men seem to have a language whites lack for the not-quite-real relationships that end up making them a dad."

The views of spousal relationship and traditional values have non necessarily changed, (more than so amidst whites) as Charles Murray, has claimed it's more that they are kept the same values as higher income whites (or clinged to them fifty-fifty more than strongly, not realizing they accept changed slightly among the wealthy) just fail to live up to their values.

fathers have high hopes when the children are born, but near relationships with the mother break up rather quickly and they have difficulty staying involved.

it's not that men who have drug addictions or go to prison don't care about their children or want to exist around them, more than that they are so ashamed and humiliated of their situation and inability to overcome their own flaws that they don't want their children to seem in their country, and deliberately distance themselves.

No data on this, but information technology seemed from some of the anecdotes that the men who were able to get their lives together were those who connected to see their children when in their worst, most humiliating situations (homelessness, in jail, etc), and that in this case, the fact that their children were nonetheless happy to see them even then, gave them hope, and thus their children did end up fulfilling the 'savior' role that many men hoped them to be.

"accidents" aren't actually accidents ---the men in this book actually desire to be fathers, and want to have the 'fatherhood experience' and ideally be someone like Ward Cleaverfrom leave it to beaver (cited most ofttimes). There is some kind of psychological voodoo going on here, which might be like "very aware of the sometimes dangerous or precarious nature of life in their neighborhood, and of the difficulty with jobs and coin and risky behavior, merely non willing to acknowledge this, and wanting to attempt anyways". Also seeing their children as a savior figure and to requite them a reason to terminate partying, drugs, "doing stupid shit", etc. This + a similar affair with the mothers, leads to both sort of silently deciding to stop using birth control. I have less of an understanding of the dynamics betwixt non using birth control during one night stands.

"the reader might be request whether one, two, or fifty-fifty four failures [at attaining "the fatherhood experience"] aren't enough; why are men willing to risk failure again and once more, peculiarly since unqualified success is and so unlikely? Merely men at the lesser believe they have little to lose by playing the Russian roulette of unprotected sex once over again, because even for those who will ultimately fail utterly at fatherhood and terminate up having no enduring connection to any biological child, the mere act of procreation ensures they volition come out ahead. Trevor, the son of a convicted bank robber and heroin addict, is a seemingly hopeless addict himself by the age of xx-four. This white cab driver hasn't seen his i-year-old girl in three months. Yet he tells u.s. that by fathering a child, "I have done something skillful for the first fourth dimension always." ... At minimum, and then, fathering a child is still proof that ane tin can accomplish something of value; it still offers the opportunity to see one'southward potential expressed in some other, less damaged individual... information technology is vital to note that almost fathers who have grown disconnected from their children are seldom satisfied with the scrap ends of fatherhood. ..the desire to father actively --- and claim the "whole begetter experience"---is strong."

Trying once more with a new mom and new relationship is easier than persevering confronting difficult odds to maintain relationships with the mother and older child. The volume talked a bunch virtually the psychological resources necessary to stay involved, but I didn't get a good moving-picture show of where these were coming from. (Though information technology was often obvious why the men were lacking them)

the phrase "Doing the best I can" relieves fathers of the moral stress they experience from not being able to live up their ideal of fatherhood, due to their difficulties in finding work, their ain failings of "doing stupid shit" [something like getting drunkard and stealing a machine like they  used to practice when they were a teen]

At that place'southward a huge amount of distrust between men and women in low income relationships. Almost all the men in the sample expressed suspicion that the adult female would trade up for a more secure relationship immediately, if she could. The authors noted that there was an incentive for them to have children because then at that place was slightly more promise of having any relationship at all, since there could be something of one for the kid's sake for a fourth dimension, however this doesn't last.Women are eternally frustrated with men'southward inability to consistently help with coin, as they are often working full time and doing all of the child support. They gatekeep the fatherhood experience based on this, and the dad's don't like that.

Both the poor women and men hold very mainstream views about when union is advisable, and then it becomes a very rare thing.

The unremarkably used phrase was 'association' rather than human relationship, hookup, etc. The book (or the men in the interviews) didn't go into much item about what was actually going on within the relationships or cursory periods of time that they were together.

...more than

May 05, 2014 Downward rated information technology really liked information technology

This is an ethnography about single fathers in inner city areas. It uses a big pool of unmarried black and white fathers from Camden or Philadelphia, and deals primarily with the hardships and blessings that come from situational fatherhood, besides as a thorough examination of what it means to be a father (and as extension, a human) in the twenty beginning century. The volume is objective, reports facts and uses data to back it up. In spite of that (or because of that? The lines are blurred) the due south This is an ethnography about single fathers in inner metropolis areas. It uses a large puddle of unmarried black and white fathers from Camden or Philadelphia, and deals primarily with the hardships and blessings that come from situational fatherhood, likewise as a thorough examination of what it means to be a father (and as extension, a man) in the twenty first century. The volume is objective, reports facts and uses data to dorsum information technology up. In spite of that (or because of that? The lines are blurred) the stories of these fathers are alternately moving, infuriating, funny and terribly sad. It is, in a sense, about male person privilege - about the burden of parenting falling on the female parent, while a father can only "do the all-time he tin," - but information technology is also more sympathetic than that. At that place is a recognition here of the how class intersects with gender and gender expectations/performativity. Information technology's informative, if a bit dry at times. Through necessity it's repetitive, and the writing is mostly styleless. ...more

Mar 24, 2018 Susan rated it liked it

My expectations were pretty high later reading Edin & Kefalas "Promises I Can Continue." The study this book was based on is not reported in nearly as much detail regarding the methodology and the chapters repeatedly describe stories about the same cases, which gives a much less rigorous, more anecdotal feeling to the data.

However, I am glad to have read some of the fathers' sides of the story of unwed parents in urban Philadelphia and Camden, NJ. The authors accept definitely captured some interesti

My expectations were pretty high after reading Edin & Kefalas "Promises I Can Go on." The study this book was based on is not reported in nearly as much detail regarding the methodology and the chapters repeatedly describe stories most the aforementioned cases, which gives a much less rigorous, more anecdotal feeling to the data.

However, I am glad to accept read some of the fathers' sides of the story of unwed parents in urban Philadelphia and Camden, NJ. The authors accept definitely captured some interesting transitions in our gimmicky concepts of spousal relationship, family unit, and family life.

...more

Jun 07, 2020 Ethan rated it liked it

This book is an extended case study on "110 low-income unwed fathers" in the Philadelphia metropolitan area (Camden, NJ, is included in this). Blackness and white, young and old, mature and immature.

A few takeaways from this:

In most families, the relationship of the parents come starting time, followed by the nativity of the child. For a big majority of the fathers surveyed, the child came first, followed by the relationship. How? Lack of care nearly contraceptives is the main cause. Men ofttimes don't wear cond

This book is an extended case study on "110 low-income unwed fathers" in the Philadelphia metropolitan area (Camden, NJ, is included in this). Black and white, young and old, mature and immature.

A few takeaways from this:

In most families, the relationship of the parents come up showtime, followed by the nativity of the child. For a large majority of the fathers surveyed, the child came start, followed by the relationship. How? Lack of care about contraceptives is the master cause. Men oft don't wear condoms and women are sometimes off of birth command. Some also just don't intendance or accept enough foresight to consider the consequences.

Fathers are largely excited and accepting towards becoming a father. In contrast to club's stereotypical view of low-income fathers who impregnate a woman and so leave, almost of the men view their existence a father equally the best thing to ever happen to them, for a few reasons. For i, it is a goal they've always had: raising a little them and watching their growth and development in the earth. It'south also a catalyst for change, specially when the fathers' paths are not on an optimal path: the child gives them meaning and purpose in their lives.

Ideal characteristics of a father are common among inner-urban center fathers, but the power to provide reigns supreme above all. This can be peculiarly problematic for those with low paychecks, every bit their take-home pay afterwards the essentials (hire, groceries, etc) tin can exist quite pocket-sized, minimizing the amount they can provide for their children.

"Quality time" is i of the virtually important parts of the father-child relationship. Fathers cherish the regular activities they get to do with their children, exist it watching television or going to the park.

Mothers are discussed briefly, but their views are like across the board: fathers need to contribute both financially and morally, exist accountable (no more going to the bars after work when the infant's at domicile), and so on. Some men oppose this and view it every bit constricting on their lifestyle, causing them to non pursue a human relationship with the mother.

An appendix details the statistics of the fathers, including their income, reactions to pregnancy, level of pregnancy intentionality, relationship strains preceding breakup, etc.

...more

Jul 25, 2020 AndyB rated it really liked it

An impressive and compassionate look at new ideas of fatherhood. It can be dry out, but finishes really well with a great synthesis of its main points in the last chapter.

Aug 13, 2016 Katie rated information technology really liked information technology

Really interesting ethnography of poor unmarried fathers living in inner city Philadelphia. Edin notes that different traditional models of family building, the fathers' chief devotion and loyalty is to his children, and he ofttimes has very little attachment to the female parent. These men mostly had very positive reactions to the news that the mother of their child was pregnant, fifty-fifty equally unemployed teenage fathers, incarcerated fathers or drug fond fathers. The men too overwhelming reported that havi Actually interesting ethnography of poor unmarried fathers living in inner metropolis Philadelphia. Edin notes that unlike traditional models of family building, the fathers' primary devotion and loyalty is to his children, and he often has very little attachment to the mother. These men mostly had very positive reactions to the news that the mother of their child was pregnant, even as unemployed teenage fathers, incarcerated fathers or drug addicted fathers. The men too overwhelming reported that having children has greatly improved, if not saved, their lives. She also confronts the daunting statistics of poor children with unmarried parents growing up without a male parent at all--citing incarceration, maternal gatekeeping, drug use, and unemployment as contributing factors. All the same, she points out that when studying poor urban unmarried fatherhood, what many statistician fail to grasp is that most of these men, around three quarters interact with one of their children most daily. However, it is also true that a 3rd of the aforementioned men surveyed take no contact at all with at least one children. This points to complications in the myth that single poor urban fathers don't want to father their children but points to larger complications in being part of several blended families--a phenomena Edin refers to as obligation overload. ...more

Jun 19, 2014 Amanda rated information technology liked it

Having read Kathryn Edin's study on inner-metropolis mothers, I had high expectations for this book. Her analysis of mothers was a compassionate and nuanced portrait of immature mothers that made the reader reconsider previous assumptions about why and how poor, young girls become mothers. Virtually of the mothers portrayed in that book are inverse by the nascency of their children and become competent caretakers. The fathers never quite get so understandable to me. They run across themselves equally without agency almos Having read Kathryn Edin's report on inner-metropolis mothers, I had loftier expectations for this book. Her analysis of mothers was a empathetic and nuanced portrait of young mothers that made the reader reconsider previous assumptions almost why and how poor, young girls become mothers. Nearly of the mothers portrayed in that volume are changed by the birth of their children and become competent caretakers. The fathers never quite become so understandable to me. They see themselves as without agency most through the whole process of conceiving and raising a child and congratulate themselves for being a passing presence in their children's lives. Though many of them take had difficult lives and face many difficulties that a reader tin empathize with, information technology'due south hard to keep that sympathy when they pass along suffering to their children. Non a very hopeful picture. ...more than

Aug 20, 2014 Denali rated it really liked it

An splendid slice of fieldwork. Stereotypes and received wisdom play a deceptively strong and nigh always harmful role in shaping public opinion and public policy. Doing the All-time I can is an admirable work that brings a nuanced and thoughtful explanation to unmarried fatherhood and how it affects families and children. Edin is kind to her subjects though she remains clear eyed equally she notes the limits of their financial contributions and the role their own choices play in estranging themselves An excellent piece of fieldwork. Stereotypes and received wisdom play a deceptively strong and nearly ever harmful role in shaping public opinion and public policy. Doing the Best I can is an admirable work that brings a nuanced and thoughtful explanation to unmarried fatherhood and how it affects families and children. Edin is kind to her subjects though she remains clear eyed as she notes the limits of their financial contributions and the function their own choices play in estranging themselves from their children. This is a volume I desire to tell lots of people about. And you should too. ...more

Jun 22, 2013 Lori M. rated it actually liked it

Now that I am traveling into Camden more often for my job as a photojournalist, I was very interested in reading this book. I found the intensive research the authors did very interesting, and while the spectrum for how actively engaged these fathers that were followed varies greatly (from nonexistent in their children's lives to the sole reason they have become productive members of society), that is exactly what makes this study intriguing. Now that I am traveling into Camden more ofttimes for my job as a photojournalist, I was very interested in reading this book. I found the intensive enquiry the authors did very interesting, and while the spectrum for how actively engaged these fathers that were followed varies greatly (from nonexistent in their children's lives to the sole reason they take become productive members of society), that is exactly what makes this study intriguing. ...more than

A very personal insight into how others view relationships/parenthood. Information technology was a little difficult to read a book that's based on the complete contrary of my personal beliefs. I read the offset few chapters, then skimmed the residuum. A very detailed and impressive amount of research went into this book. Gotta give the authors props for that.
A very personal insight into how others view relationships/parenthood. It was a little hard to read a book that'southward based on the complete contrary of my personal behavior. I read the first few capacity, and so skimmed the residual. A very detailed and impressive corporeality of enquiry went into this book. Gotta give the authors props for that.
...more

November 02, 2013 ashwini rated it liked information technology

While I appreciated this volume greatly, the stories actually read like a primer on male person privilege. Especially when taken in conjunction with Promises I Tin Keep, it'due south obvious that women acquit the overwhelming burden of raising children, while men both in practice and in theory take to do very petty in order to consider themselves or be considered "good" fathers. While I appreciated this book greatly, the stories actually read like a primer on male person privilege. Specially when taken in conjunction with Promises I Tin can Keep, information technology's obvious that women bear the overwhelming burden of raising children, while men both in practise and in theory have to practise very niggling in lodge to consider themselves or exist considered "good" fathers. ...more

Sep 29, 2013 Miriam rated information technology really liked information technology

Well researched and written. Insightful things to say about a population near don't pay any attention to. Sometimes the linguistic communication is a piffling dry, and there are and then many fathers that are used as examples that sometimes it'south a little confusing. Well researched and written. Insightful things to say about a population almost don't pay whatever attending to. Sometimes the language is a little dry, and at that place are so many fathers that are used every bit examples that sometimes information technology's a trivial confusing. ...more

It was very sobering. I think of the children born in unstable relationships. I remember of the casual sex that produces children. There weren't enough success stories to overcome the pain of children who live in unstable situations. It was very sobering. I recollect of the children born in unstable relationships. I remember of the casual sex activity that produces children. There weren't enough success stories to overcome the hurting of children who live in unstable situations. ...more than

Forth with its earlier companion most unmarried, inner-city mothers, this book is required reading for everyone living in or near an inner-urban center, low-income area.

Aug 02, 2015 Jen Doty rated it it was amazing

Advisedly researched and well written. This book gave me a new perspective on fatherhood for those who are down on luck merely still trying to be good dads.

Really interesting angle, dispelling the easy narrative of absentee fatherhood . Well researched.

Feb 27, 2016 Nicole rated it information technology was ok

Had to read for a class. Jumped around besides much in my opinion and was hard to follow all the different stories.

Jun 27, 2016 Shanna rated it really liked it

Great perspective on an often stereotyped demographic. Very insightful.

Kathryn J. Edin is Bloomberg Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Public Wellness at Johns Hopkins University.

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